Have you ever wondered about him/her.....the one that got away or the one that chose a different path than you or the one that is still just there. Well I do......Yes I will admit that I have had different feelings about the realationship I am in now. Ones where I question if it is right, am I doing it because of the status, is it for real, and even ones of dumbfoundedness (if that is even a word). I am sure that he will be reading this and I will have to answer his questions, but for now I need to get this off my chest. I have loved these wonders of my life and still love one, but.................
To the one that go away......I question why? What did I do wrong? Was it ever meant to be? Why the string along? Why did you choose her and not me? I have answered that myself a million times.....it was because of my most precious gift.....Bentlee. You chose her over me because I had a baby and you were too selfish to allow her in your life. I was never asking for you to be her dad or to take care of her, but to just love me and see how it would go. Yes I know having a baby stops your life for awhile, but they do grow up and become people themselves. To answer your thoughts, NO NOT EVER would I take it back!! Your loss my gain.
To the one that chose a different pay.......Why? Again I have answered that myself a million times......MONEY! You chose money over me because someone else had it and was willing to pay your way to and for everything. What happened to LOVE? Maybe that is not how life is anymore. Maybe to you that is a must and you don't love. I don't know and nor will I ever. I want someone to love me for who I am and what I have to offer. Yes money isn't one of them, but I am an awesome person, a loving person, a passionate person, a sweet spirited person, and I have a lot to offer. To answer your thoughts again...... NO NOT EVER would I take it back!! Your loss my gain.
To the one that is still just there.....Why? This is the one that troubles me!! And maybe I think too much and look into things more than I should. You are the ideal man/partner/lover/guy that every women dreams of being with, but yet they don't want to be with(according to you). I have said on more than one occasion to myself: "I would marry you tomorrow!!!" I wouldn't and don't need a long drawn out dating/relationship....lets just get it done! But life just doesn't happen that way, no matter how you try. So why? That is the wonder........
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